If you’re here, it’s likely because you didn’t get some (or any) of the Sporcle Dad jokes. Well here is a guide to just what the heck was going on in that tiny little dad brain when it comes to artists. If you haven’t yet played the “Sporcle Dad Talks Artists” quiz, head over to Sporcle first to see how you do.

Sports
Do you like Red Grooms?
Sure, who doesn’t love the Galloping Ghost?

Red Grooms, American sculptor

Red Grange, American football player, the “Galloping Ghost”

Geography
Do you like Gainsborough?
Never been. That’s in Florida, right?

Thomas Gainsborough, English painter, best known for The Blue Boy

Florida, a lame reference to Gainesville and some random ‘boro.

Music
Do you like Dalí?
Yes, but I really hate that Jolene chick.

Salvador Dalí, Spanish surrealist

Dolly Parton, American country singer, who sang “Jolene, please don’t take my man,” as seen on YouTube

Movies
Do you like Hopper?
Yes, all those little bugs were so cute.

Edward Hopper, American painter

Hopper, the evil (but still kinda cute) grasshopper from A Bug’s Life

Television
Do you like Munch?
Yes, Tony Shaloub was great in that.
Hindsight punchline: Yes, Tony Shaloub was a scream in that.

Edvard Munch, Norwegian painter, famed for The Scream

Tony Shaloub, American actor, known for Wings, Men In Black, and Monk

Just For Fun
Do you like Rodin?
Yes, he’s way cooler than Godzilla.

Auguste Rodin, French sculptor famous for The Thinker

Rodan, Pteranodon-like Jaapanese movie monster, initially an enemy but ultimately an ally of Godzilla

Entertainment
Do you like Stella?
No, I never got what all the shouting was about.

Frank Stella, American painter

Stella Kowalski is a character in Tennessee Williams‘ masterpiece play A Streetcar Named Desire. The best known scene from the play (and subsequent film) involves Marlon Brando, playing Stella’s husband Stanley, standing below her window calling her name, “Steellaaaaaa!”

History
Do you like Pissarro?
No, that armor’s just too over the top.

Camille Pissarro, Danish-French impressioniist

Francisco Pizarro, Spanish conquistador responsible for the fall of the Inca Empire

Literature
Do you like da Vinci?
Yes, that was a great book.

Leonardo da Vinci‘s enormous body of work includes the Mona Lisa, drawing the Vitruvian Man, and designing the first helicopter (in the fifteenth century!).

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown, not that great a book really

Language
Do you like French?
No, no hablo francés.

Daniel Chester French, American sculptor, best known for the statue of Abraham Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial

“No, no hablo francés” means “No, I don’t speak French.” In Spanish.

Science
Do you like Pollock?
Yes, they’re rich in omega-3 fatty acids.

Jackson Pollock, American painter, famous for his unusual style of “drip painting”

Pollock, a tasty North Atlantic fish

Gaming
Do you like Leroy Neiman?
Yes, he’s funny, but I wouldn’t want him on my raid.

Leroy Neiman, American painter, famous for his colorful paintings of sports, athletes, and musicians

Leeroy Jenkins, epic WoW fail as seen on YouTube (“At least I have chicken.”)

Miscellaneous
Do you like Botticelli?
Oh yes, especially with white sauce.

Sandro Botticelli, Italian Renaissance painter famous for The Birth of Venus

Vermicelli, a round pasta similar to spaghetti, especially good with clam sauce

Religion
Do you like Church?
No, I prefer pagan rites myself.

Frederic Edwin Church, American landscape painter, member of the Hudson River School

Paganism was originally a derogatory term for non-Abrahamic religions. Today it is at least somewhat more accepted as Modern Paganism. While rites are involved, they are generally less formal than church.

Holiday
Do you like Saint-Gaudens?
I don’t know. Is that the day with the trees?

Augustus Saint-Gaudens, American sculptor responsible for many Civil War monuments and the $20 “double eagle” gold piece

Arbor Day because trees. Trees because plants. Plants because gardens. Gardens because Saint-Gaudens. Saint-Gaudens because sometimes you’re desperate for one last dumb joke.