Sporcle Dad Talks Television We're not sure anyone gets it

If you’re here, it’s likely because you didn’t get some (or any) of the Sporcle Dad jokes. Well here is a guide to just what the heck was going on in that tiny little dad brain when it comes to television. If you haven’t yet played the “Sporcle Dad Talks Television” quiz, head over to Sporcle first to see how you do.

Sports
Do you watch Under the Dome?
Yes, but it’s just better on the frozen tundra.

Under the Dome, a CBS television series based on the Stephen King novel of the same name

Under the Dome, CBS TelevisionUnder the Dome, CBS Television

Under the Dome, CBS Television

Until very recently, the JV teams in Minneapolis and Detroit played in the cozy confines of domes. The men of the Green Bay Packers have always played on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, site of the 1967 Ice Bowl one of the greatest events in the history of sports.

1967 Ice Bowl, Lambeau Field

1967 Ice Bowl, Lambeau Field

Geography
Do you watch Austin City Limits?
No, I prefer metropolitan areas myself.

Recorded live within the city limits of Austin, Texas, the award-winning PBS series Austin City Limits is the longest running music program in American television history.

Valerie June, Austin City Limits, PBS

Valerie June, Austin City Limits, PBS

Per Wikipedia: “A metropolitan area, sometimes referred to as a metro area or just metro, is a region consisting of a densely populated urban core and its less-populated surrounding territories, sharing industry, infrastructure, and housing.” In other words, the area within the city limits and beyond. An important distinction as geography Sporclers know.

Music
Do you watch The Sopranos?
No, but I listen to The Three Tenors.

HBO‘s brilliant show The Sopranos was about a New Jersey mob family named “Soprano” not about the female vocal range.

The Sopranos, HBO

The Sopranos, HBO

The Three Tenors, opera giants Plácido Domingo, José Carreras, and Luciano Pavarotti, united to perform concerts and record albums, including the best selling classical album of all time. They, of course, sang tenor, not soprano.

The Three Tenors

The Three Tenors

Movies
Do you watch One Tree Hill?
No, is that a deforestation documentary?

The WB/CW drama One Tree Hill

One Tree Hill, The CW

One Tree Hill, The CW

A hill with just one tree may well be the site of deforestation. There are several good documentaries about deforestation including The Fight for Amazonia.

Deforestation

Deforestation

Television
Do you watch I’ve Got a Secret?
No, they won’t tell me what channel it’s on.

Celebrity panel game show I’ve Got a Secret aired on CBS from 1952 – 1967. Only Sporcle Dad was unable to uncover the secret of which channel.

I've Got a Secret, CBS Television

I’ve Got a Secret, CBS Television

Just for Fun
Do you watch As the World Turns?
Turns? You know it’s flat, right?

The soap opera As the World Turns aired on CBS for 54 years.

As the World Turns, CBS Television

As the World Turns, CBS Television

The earth has been known to be round since long before Columbus sailed. Even so, some people today believe the earth is flat and fixed in place while the universe revolves around it. Scientists cope with these people by marking their maps, “Here there be morons.”

Flat earth map including Antarctica as an ice wall

Flat earth map including Antarctica as an ice wall

Miscellaneous
Do you watch Branded?
No, that’s just so they can charge more. I’ll stick to my Toughskins.

In the 1960s NBC television western Branded, Chuck Connors plays a U.S. cavalry captain who is (figuratively) branded a coward. Over the course of the show, he regains his honor.

Chuck Connors, Branded, NBC Television

Chuck Connors, Branded, NBC Television

Per Wikipedia: “A brand is defined as a toolbox of marketing and communication methods that help to distinguish a company from competitors and create a lasting impression in the minds of customers.” With careful marketing, a brand can be in great demand. An example from the 1980s was highly popular Jordache jeans which were really no better than the much cheaper Toughskins jeans from Sears. (See, Mom? Toughskins don’t even get a good Wikipedia page.)

Toughskins

Toughskins

History
Do you watch CPO Sharkey?
No. Didn’t he sail with Admiral Farragut and Ensign O’Toole?

Don Rickles played U.S. Navy Chief Petty Officer Otto Sharkey, the irascible title character in the 1970s NBC sitcom.

Don Rickles, CPO Sharkey, NBC

Don Rickles, CPO Sharkey, NBC

Admiral David Farragut was the first full admiral in the U.S. Navy. He is most famous for his victory at the Civil War Battle of Mobile Bay where he gave an order commonly paraphrased as, “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

Admiral David Farragut

Admiral David Farragut

Ensign O’Toole was a 1960s NBC sitcom that took place aboard a U.S. Navy destroyer. It stared Dean Jones who went on to star in several Disney films including The Love Bug. They are best known for their acting, but Rickles and Jones both served in the Navy, Rickles in World War II and Jones in Korea.

Literature
Do you watch Big Brother?
No, I thought he was supposed to be watching me.

In the reality show Big Brother, contestants are locked in a house where they are continuously monitored by cameras. Over the course of the show, contestants are voted out until only the winner remains.

The Big Brother reference in the reality show and countless other places comes from George Orwell‘s dystopian novel 1984. Whether true leader or symbolic figure, Big Brother represented the totalitarian government, especially its surveillance of citizens.

1984, George Orwell

1984, George Orwell

Language
Do you watch COPS?
No. Is that an anagram for something?

COPS is a reality show on Fox where camera operators accompany law enforcement officers on their rounds.

COPS, Fox Television

COPS, Fox Television

“COPS” is an anagram of “Spoc,” a Vulcan too hip for the “K.” An anagram rearranges the letters of a word or phrase to create a different word or phrase. “COPS” could also be an acronym, a word formed from the first letters or syllables of the words in a phrase.

Science
Do you watch Leverage?
No, but if you give me a place to stand in front of a TV I’ll try it.

Leverage was a drama on TNT in which a band of good-hearted criminals helped regular people fight back against the rich and powerful.

Leverage, TNT

Leverage, TNT

A lever is one of the six simple machines. A rod pivoting on a fulcrum, a lever translates a small amount of force on the long end of the rod to a large amount of force on the short end. In the 3rd century BCE, Greek scientist Archimedes wrote of the lever, “Give me a place to stand, and I shall move the earth with it.”

Archimedes of Syracuse, Domenico Fetti

Archimedes of Syracuse, Domenico Fetti

Gaming
Do you watch The Electric Company?
Yes. It makes me so sentimental I turn on the Water Works.

The Electric Company was a children’s educational program on PBS in the 1970s. It is beloved by its fans and widely considered to be one of the finest children’s programs ever.

The Electric Company, PBS

The Electric Company, PBS

Electric Company and Water Works are the two utility properties in Monopoly. “Water works” is an expression meaning crying, especially dramatic crying.

Water Works and Electric Company, Monopoly, Parker Brothers

Water Works and Electric Company, Monopoly, Parker Brothers

Entertainment
Do you watch The Secrets of Isis?
No, isn’t that what the CIA is for?

The Secrets of Isis aired on CBS in the 1970s. It was the first television show featuring a female superhero, predating both The Bionic Woman and Wonder Woman.

The Secrets of Isis, CBS Television

The Secrets of Isis, CBS Television

The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, ISIS or ISIL, is a jihadist militia currently bringing chaos and terror to the Middle East and beyond.

Religion
Do you watch 7th Heaven?
No, I just need the one, thanks.

7th Heaven was a family drama on The WB and later The CW.

7th Heaven, The WB/The CW

7th Heaven, The WB/The CW

Who needs more than one heaven? And what happened to the first six if you’re on your 7th? The idea of seven heavens is found in some Indian religions and many of the Abrahamic religions. The idea stems from Mesopotamia and that culture’s belief in the mystical power of the number 7.

Holiday
Do you watch The Flying Nun?
Is that the one that got away at the Macy’s parade?

The Flying Nun was a 1960s ABC sitcom starring Sally Field.

The Flying Nun, ABC

The Flying Nun, ABC

A popular feature of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is the collection of large balloons in the shape of characters from popular culture. The balloons float down the parade route, each controlled by a team of 90 handlers. There has never been a nun balloon. The balloons also do not actually fly, but several have made a run for it, primarily due to high winds or heavy rain. In over 80 years, only one parade-goer has been seriously injured by a balloon. The balloons have not been so lucky with tears leading to deflation and even ripped off limbs. Trees and lampposts are the usual culprits.

Perennial favorite Snoopy made his parade debut in 1968.

Perennial favorite Snoopy made his parade debut in 1968.

Sporcle Dad Talks American Artists We're not sure anyone gets it

If you’re here, it’s likely because you didn’t get some (or any) of the Sporcle Dad jokes. Well here is a guide to just what the heck was going on in that tiny little dad brain when it comes to American artists.

You should know that this is the first truly difficult Sporcle Dad quiz. Most of the quizzes take a subject then finds punchlines related to each of the Sporcle categories. Some pop culture knowledge and tangential thinking should do it. This quiz features punchlines related directly to the subject, in this case American artists, sometimes more obscure American artists. You might want to brush off that art history degree for this one. Enjoy!

If you haven’t yet played the “Sporcle Dad Talks American Artists” quiz, head over to Sporcle first to see how you do.

Do you like Al Jaffe?
No, they just make me mad.

For over 60 years, Al Jaffee has been one of the Usual Gang of Idiots at Mad magazine. In 1964, Jaffee created the magazines “fold-in” feature to satirize the “fold-out” panels that were all the rage in magazines like Playboy.

Al Jaffee

Al Jaffee

Do you like Alexander Calder?
No, they will leave you hanging.

American sculptor Alexander Calder originated the mobile.

Alexander Calder, Rouge Triomphante

Alexander Calder, Rouge Triomphante

Do you like Al Hirschfeld?
No, they have a hidden agenda.

American caricaturist Al Hirschfeld was famous for his drawings of celebrities. His widely known secret was the inclusion of his daughter’s name, Nina, in many of his drawings.

Al Hirschfeld, Liza Minnelli

Al Hirschfeld, Liza Minnelli

Do you like Mary Cassatt?
Yes, they made a good impression on me.

American painter Mary Cassatt was called one of the “three grand dames” of Impressionism.

Mary Cassatt, The Child's Bath

Mary Cassatt, The Child’s Bath

Do you like Ray Harryhausen?
No, everything is so stop and go with them.

Academy Award winning visual effects artist Ray Harryhausen created groundbreaking animation effects for movies from Mighty Joe Young up to Clash of the Titans. Harryhausen developed a method of stop-motion animation known as Dynamotion.

Ray Harryhausen, Cyclops from 7th Voyage of Sinbad

Ray Harryhausen, Cyclops from 7th Voyage of Sinbad

Do you like Robert Indiana?
Oh yes, I just LOVE them.

American artist Robert Indiana was associated with the Pop Art movement. His art has appeared everywhere from American postage stamps to the Israel Museum.

Robert Indiana, 1973 Love stamp

Robert Indiana, 1973 Love stamp

Do you like Jasper Johns?
Yes, I would stand up and salute them.

American artist Jasper Johns is best known for his paintings of the American flag.

Jasper Johns, Flag

Jasper Johns, Flag

Do you like Audrey Flack?
Yes, they tell it like they see it.

American artist Audrey Flack pioneered the photorealism movement, art that appears almost as a photo, almost as real as the eye perceives.

Audrey Flack, Banana Split Sundae

Audrey Flack, Banana Split Sundae

Do you like Christo and Jeanne-Claude?
Yes, they’ve really got this art stuff wrapped up.

Artists Christo and Jeanne-Claude created massive installations from miles-long “fences” to wrapped buildings, bridges, and even islands.

Christo and Jeanne-Claude, Surrounded Islands, Miami, Florida

Christo and Jeanne-Claude, Surrounded Islands, Miami, Florida

Do you like Dale Chihuly?
No, they really blow it with their work.

Dale Chihuly creates individual pieces and large installations with blown glass.

Dale Chihuly, The Sun

Dale Chihuly, The Sun

Do you like Lesley Dill?
Yes, with them, a thousand words is worth a picture.

Lesley Dill is a sculptor and mixed media artist whose works focus on the power of language.

Lesley Dill, Small Poem Dress: The Soul Selects

Lesley Dill, Small Poem Dress: The Soul Selects

Do you like William Edmondson?
No, their ideas are set in stone.

Born to freed slaves in Nashville, Tennessee, in 1874, William Edmondson became a sculptor late in life. His career as an artist was one of highs and lows. His art was shown in New York at the Museum of Modern Art and in Paris, but he was also dismissed as a novelty. Harper’s Bazaar tried to write a story about him but was stopped by publisher William Randolph Hearst.

William Edmondson, Girl with Cape

William Edmondson, Girl with Cape

Do you like Shepard Fairey?
Yes, I’ve got high hopes for them.

Illustrator and designer Shepard Fairey is best known for the 2008 “Hope” poster of Barack Obama.

Shepard Fairey, Hope

Shepard Fairey, Hope

Do you like Patience Wright?
Yes, these young artists can’t hold a candle to them.

Patience Wright was the first recognized American-born sculptor. She worked in wax not unlike that in candles. Unlike candles, the sculptures she did of people like William Pitt and King George III did not include wicks.

Patience Wright, William Pitt

Patience Wright, William Pitt

Do you like Georgia O’Keeffe?
Yes, they’re a blossoming talent.

Georgia O’Keeffe painted landscapes and cityscapes, but she is best known for her paintings of flowers, some of which are thought to be subtle images of female genitalia.

Georgia O'Keeffe, Black Iris III

Georgia O’Keeffe, Black Iris III

Do you like James McNeill Whistler?
No, they’re tied so tight to their mother’s apron strings.

James McNeill Whistler is best known for his painting Arrangement in Grey and Black No. 1 better known as Whistler’s Mother. To be honest, in the painting, Anna McNeill Whistler is not wearing an apron.

James McNeill Whistler, Whistler's Mother

James McNeill Whistler, Whistler’s Mother

Sporcle Dad Talks Art We're not sure anyone gets it

If you’re here, it’s likely because you didn’t get some (or any) of the Sporcle Dad jokes. Well here is a guide to just what the heck was going on in that tiny little dad brain when it comes to art. If you haven’t yet played the “Sporcle Dad Talks Art” quiz, head over to Sporcle first to see how you do.

Sports
Have you seen Nighthawks?
No, but I’ve seen the Hartwick Hawks.

Edward Hopper‘s painting Nighthawks

Edward Hopper, Nighthawks

Edward Hopper, Nighthawks

The Hartwick College Hawks, Oneonta, New York

Hartwick  College Hawks

Hartwick College Hawks

Geography
Have you seen Washington Crossing the Delaware?
No, but I’ve seen it resting alongside the Potomac.
For the record, this is the joke that started it all.

Emanuel Leutze‘s painting of Washington Crossing the Delaware

Emanuel Leutze, Washington Crossing the Delaware

Emanuel Leutze, Washington Crossing the Delaware

Washington, D.C., capital of the United States, lies on the east bank of the Potomac River.

Washington, D.C.

Washington, D.C.

Music
Have you seen The Birth of Venus?
No, but I’ve heard Bananarama on the radio a lot.

Sandro Boticelli‘s masterpiece The Birth of Venus

Sandro Botticelli, The Birth of Venus

Sandro Botticelli, The Birth of Venus

London girl group Bananarama had a big hit in the US in 1986 with their cover of “Venus” as seen on YouTube.

"Cruel Summer," another huge Bananarama hit

“Cruel Summer,” another huge Bananarama hit

Movies
Have you seen At the Moulin Rouge?
Yes, Nicole Kidman was great in that movie.

Post-impressionist painter and printmaker Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec was commissioned to do a series of posters for the opening of the Moulin Rouge cabaret. Many of his most famous works feature the performers and clientele of it and other Paris nightclubs.

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, At the Moulin Rouge: Two Women Waltzing

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, At the Moulin Rouge: Two Women Waltzing

In Baz Luhrmann‘s Moulin Rouge!, Nicole Kidman played Satine. The magnificent John Leguizamo played Lautrec.

The cast of Moulin Rouge! (Jim Broadbent!)

The cast of Moulin Rouge! (Jim Broadbent!)

Television
Have you seen The Night Watch?
No, but I love Knight Rider.

Rembrandt‘s painting The Night Watch

Rembrandt, The Night Watch

Rembrandt, The Night Watch

Knight Rider was a 1980s American television show staring David Hasselhoff and his sentient car, KITT. While it may seem that the joke here is the Night / Knight connection, the actual point is the cruel irony that neither Rembrandt nor the Hoff were invited to join TMNT.

Knight Rider

Knight Rider

Just For Fun
Have you seen The Persistence of Memory?
If I have, I forgot.

Salvador Dalí‘s painting The Persistence of Memory — Memory… I forgot…

Salvador Dalí, The Persistence of Memory

Salvador Dalí, The Persistence of Memory

Science
Have you seen Water Lilies?
Yes, but they’re actually a member of the Nymphaeaceae family.

The Water Lilies painted by Claude Monet are a member of the Nymphaeaceae family. True lilies are members of the Lilium genus of the Liliaceae family.

Claude Monet, Water Lilies

Claude Monet, Water Lilies

We won’t even discuss Vincent Van Gogh‘s Irises.

Vincent Van Gogh, Irises

Vincent Van Gogh, Irises

Entertainment
Have you seen The Sleeping Gypsy?
No, but I know all the words.

Freench Post-Impressionist Henri Rousseau‘s painting The Sleeping Gypsy

Henri Rousseau, The Sleeping Gypsy

Henri Rousseau, The Sleeping Gypsy

The smash Broadway hit musical Gypsy: A Musical Fable opened in 1959. Considered to be one of America’s finest, the musical is based upon the memoir of famous burlesque performer and striptease artist Gypsy Rose Lee. In particularly cool news, Sporcle Mom’s great aunt danced with Gypsy Rose Lee. And with all due respect to Ethel Merman, the finest performance of “Everything’s Coming Up Roses” was done by Michael Jeter in The Fisher King as seen on YouTube.

Gypsy the Album

Gypsy the Album

Miscellaneous
Have you seen An Old Woman Frying Eggs?
Not lately. Mom kicked me out.

Old Woman Frying Eggs is a lesser known work by Spanish painter Diego Velázquez. The painting’s title is an invitation to a combined Sporcle Dad / Yo (My) Mama! joke.

Diego Velázquez, Old Woman Frying Eggs

Diego Velázquez, Old Woman Frying Eggs

History
Have you seen The King Drinks?
No, but if he’s offering, I’ll have one.

The King Drinks is a painting by the Flemish Baroque artist Jacob Jordaens. The painting’s title cries for another round and to be made into a Sporcle Dad joke.

Jacob Jordaens, The King Drinks

Jacob Jordaens, The King Drinks

Language
Have you seen A Young Man Being Introduced to the Seven Liberal Arts?
Is that the prequel to A Young Man is Hired by a Fast Food Joint?

A Young Man Being Introduced to the Seven Liberal Arts is a lesser known painting by the Italian Renaissance artist Sandro Boticelli. The painting’s title is obviously in need of a Sporcle Dad joke makeover. At least to a liberal arts major it is.

Sandro Botticelli, A Young Man Being Introduced to the Seven Liberal Arts

Sandro Botticelli, A Young Man Being Introduced to the Seven Liberal Arts

Literature
Have you seen The Death of Chatterton?
No. Did it not go well with her lover?

The Death of Chatterton by the English Pre-Raphaelite painter Henry Wallis is one of Sporcle Mom’s favorite paintings.

Henry Wallis, The Death of Chatterton

Henry Wallis, The Death of Chatterton

D.H. Lawrence‘s 1928 novel Lady Chatterly’s Lover was unavailable in its unexpurgated form in the United Kingdom until 1960 due to censorship and obscenity laws.

D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover

D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover

Gaming
Have you seen The Potato Eaters?
Isn’t that just Dogs Playing Poker but with Dutch people?

The Potato Eaters was among Vincent van Gogh‘s favorties of his own works.

Vincent van Gogh, The Potato Eaters

Vincent van Gogh, The Potato Eaters

Dogs Playing Poker is a series of paintings of, yes, dogs playing poker and in other gaming situations by American artist C.M. Coolidge. Some of the paintings in the series are based on paintings of human card players by other artists. Trade the potatoes for cards and the Potato Eaters is an ideal card playing composition, at least according to Sporcle Dad.

C.M. Coolidge, Waterloo

C.M. Coolidge, Waterloo

Religion
Have you seen The Creation of Adam?
Yes, and Eden wasn’t because of the apple. It was because he pulled His finger.

The Creation of Adam, a fresco by Michelangelo, is part of the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. How could Adam not pull that finger? That has to be the original sin.

Michelangelo, The Creation of Adam

Michelangelo, The Creation of Adam

Holiday
Have you seen The Starry Night?
Yes. How did they know which one to follow?

The van Gogh masterpiece The Starry Night

Vincent Van Gogh, The Starry Night

Vincent Van Gogh, The Starry Night

The Three Magi who somehow managed to choose a single star to guide them to Bethlehem

El Greco, Adoration of the Magi

El Greco, Adoration of the Magi